The Rat
Thursday, November 28, 2002
      ( 3:48 PM ) The Rat  
VILLAINSUPPLY.COM! And while you're at it, check out

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      ( 3:31 AM ) The Rat  
I only did cocaine to stay awake to make sure nobody else did too much cocaine.
—Al Franken reminiscing on all-night writing marathons at SNL in Live from New York: An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live

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Wednesday, November 27, 2002
      ( 2:43 PM ) The Rat  

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      ( 2:41 PM ) The Rat  
WHAT TO GET THE RAT FOR CHRISTMAS. (Just kidding, of course. I already have some.)

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      ( 12:11 PM ) The Rat  
AMNESTY INT'L: China executed two Internet users.

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      ( 11:54 AM ) The Rat  
READ THIS! A hysterically funny spin on love triangles. As is this, which you should read too.

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      ( 11:51 AM ) The Rat  
GOING BLIND FOR MANKIND. "Masturbate for peace" slogans.

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Tuesday, November 26, 2002
      ( 10:08 PM ) The Rat  

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      ( 8:50 PM ) The Rat  
MY EX-ROOMMATE on the "ex-gay" movement.

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      ( 4:33 PM ) The Rat  
AND ME OUT OF TRAINING... The Rat Olympics return to Nebraska Wesleyan next week. (There's some pretty amazing footage of "Rat Basketball" floating around the 'net but I haven't found a way to link to it—try Googling.)

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      ( 4:27 PM ) The Rat  

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      ( 4:08 PM ) The Rat  
MALE ORGASM CAPTURED ON FILM. You'll laugh. You'll cry. It's better than King Ralph.

According to experts, the male orgasm has remained an enigma for many reasons. Perhaps the greatest is the deep unwillingness of males to allow themselves the extraordinary emotional vulnerability the act elicits.

"The male animal is not a piece of meat," Roehnert explained. "He is a rose wrapped in a poem, yielding up his deepest, most intimate secrets only when just the right magical moment has been achieved. The alluring yet fragile petals of the delicate flower known as the male of the species can unfold and bloom only in the presence of the right combination of gentleness, tenderness, and deep, abiding care."

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      ( 3:54 PM ) The Rat  
EEK! Actual phrase from something I was just handed to edit:

...before the appearance of a smoking gun in the possible form of a mushroom cloud...

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      ( 2:34 PM ) The Rat  
JOHN RAWLS died Sunday.

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Monday, November 25, 2002
      ( 7:15 PM ) The Rat  

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      ( 3:05 PM ) The Rat  
Reason, progress, unselfishness, a wide historical perspective, expansiveness, generosity, enlightened self-interest. I had heard it all my life and it filled me with despair.
—Kate Russell, daughter of Bertrand

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Sunday, November 24, 2002
      ( 2:13 PM ) The Rat  

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      ( 2:10 PM ) The Rat  
THE BIN LADEN LETTER, as reported in the Guardian. Further proof that if I give up my oppression, lies, immorality, and debauchery, the terrorists will have won.

The second thing we call you to, is to stop your oppression, lies, immorality and debauchery that has spread among you...

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      ( 2:09 PM ) The Rat  
THE MOUSETRAP turns 50 tomorrow. Unfortunately the cast and director they had over the summer, at any rate, didn't handle the lines nearly as well as when I saw it for the first time in '91.

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Friday, November 22, 2002
      ( 8:32 PM ) The Rat  
PUTTING THE ID IN YID. A keeper from the Washington Post:

CNN host Larry King and Irish rocker Bono celebrated King's 69th birthday on Tuesday and vied for the title of Most Blustery Dad during taping of a "Larry King Show" to be aired on World AIDS Day, Dec. 1. "How old are your kids now?" King asked the Third World poverty and AIDS activist. Bono answered that his two daughters are 13 and 11. "And I have two boys, Eli, 3 1/2, and John that's 1 1/2." King countered: "I have a 3 1/2 and a 2 1/2." Bono: "Are yours boys?" King: "Yes, two boys." Bono, upping the ante: "I bet you my boys are tougher than yours." King: "I'm Jewish—bet my boys are smarter." We're staying out of this.

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      ( 2:31 PM ) The Rat  
THREE OMAHA FIREFIGHTERS turn down affirmative-action-based promotions.

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      ( 1:21 PM ) The Rat  
AND WHO AMONG US HAS NOT, while crossing an overpass, thought to herself, "Maybe I should drop these bowling balls I happen to have with me over the side"?

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      ( 12:50 PM ) The Rat  
SAMANTHA, "a rather mellow and easy-going creature as giants snakes go" who was believed to have been the largest snake in captivity, has died at 29 at the Bronx Zoo.

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      ( 12:48 PM ) The Rat  
MISS WORLD RIOTS. Only 100 dead, you'll note. My sex has come down in the world since the days of Helen and Penelope.

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      ( 12:43 PM ) The Rat  
THE ONLY HOLIDAY GREETING YOU'LL EVER NEED. The now-defunct Widening Gyre unearths the following "Lines for a Christmas Card":

May all my enemies go to hell,
Noël, Noël, Noël, Noël.
—Hilaire Belloc

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Thursday, November 21, 2002
      ( 7:06 PM ) The Rat  
The cure for anything is salt water: tears, sweat, or the sea.
—Isak Dinesen

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      ( 6:48 PM ) The Rat  
VANITY NEW YORKER E-CARDS. Make stuff like this.

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Wednesday, November 20, 2002
      ( 4:48 PM ) The Rat  

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      ( 11:53 AM ) The Rat  
I CAN'T BELIEVE this exchange just happened at my office. Oh, wait—yes I can.

1st editor. Maybe it'll disappear, like didn't the French get rid of the circonflexe?
2nd editor. Oh, that's my favorite! It's like a little hat.
1st editor. If the circonflexe goes, can the umlaut be far behind?

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Tuesday, November 19, 2002
      ( 7:25 PM ) The Rat  
NANCY PELOSI has her head screwed on right about one thing at least: China. Check out the page about Tanag Jigme Zangpo, Tibet's longest-held political prisoner, who spent 40 years in the laogai.

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      ( 2:33 PM ) The Rat  
AN OLD FRIEND WRITES: "You know, I had the weirdest dream about you last night. I had a dream that I was forcing you to drive or something and that you kept having accidents, and then your eyeballs weren't moving together, and I figured out what nerves you had injured. I felt really bad when I woke up—like I'd really done something awful to you. Well, for the good of my own psyche, I'm
sorry..." Note that this is a friend. No wonder I'm so paranoid.

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Monday, November 18, 2002
      ( 11:57 AM ) The Rat  
"WHAT ADVANTAGES ARE THERE IF I CASTRATE MY LLAMA?" I found this while researching Putin's remark for work. Honest.

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      ( 11:33 AM ) The Rat  
MY COLLEAGUE RICK BROOKHISER, the most charming human being ever realized south of the Forms, is covering for the usual higher-ups during their fundraising cruise in Mexico. Here are some of his suggestions for stuff we could do with National Review while they're gone. His esprit d'escalier title for the post: "JACKASS: THE MAGAZINE."

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Friday, November 15, 2002
      ( 4:57 PM ) The Rat  

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      ( 1:51 PM ) The Rat  
SOME FEATURES YOU MAY NEED ON YOUR COMPUTER. Hysterical. Via a friend in Chicago. (He's right, the last is the funniest.)

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      ( 1:29 PM ) The Rat  
ICI IL NE S'EST RIEN PASSÉ. Cute story, but the sad thing is you know this'll wind up as somebody's Ph.D. dissertation at Harvard.

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      ( 1:27 PM ) The Rat  
ANOTHER HARSH LESSON about male psychology.

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      ( 1:24 PM ) The Rat  
IN THIS STORY, the use of "had to" in the phrase "had to kill her husband" is, shall we say, problematic.

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      ( 1:18 PM ) The Rat  
WHY NOT READ some of Orwell's essays while you're here?

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      ( 12:47 PM ) The Rat  
JUST FINISHED WRITING an editorial blurb about the Lynne Stewart controversy at Stanford. In brief, Stewart was indicted in April for passing messages between client Sheik Omar Abdel Rahman—currently serving a life sentence for his involvement in the 1993 World Trade Center bombings—and his terrorist associates; last week, Stanford issued (and later rescinded) an invitation to her to be a Public Interest Mentor. Personally, I'm still giggling about the fact that the conference at which Stewart was to mentor was entitled "Shaking the Foundations."

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      ( 12:41 PM ) The Rat  

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      ( 12:40 PM ) The Rat  
EVERY MORNING at Fifth Ave. I pass that big Citi billboard that reads "Funny how a huge smile will turn as many heads as an expensive car." Who do their copywriters think they're kidding!? Would you rather look at this*, or this?

*Cecil Adams on who invented the smiley face.

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      ( 12:39 PM ) The Rat  
QUOTED BY JOHN DERBYSHIRE: "Canada is well-known as the country that could have had English government, French culture, and American know-how, but chose instead to have English know-how, French government, and American culture."

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Thursday, November 14, 2002
      ( 5:32 PM ) The Rat  

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      ( 12:41 PM ) The Rat  
My astonishment at what I'd overheard, my shame at the unpardonable breach of his trust, my relief at having escaped undiscovered—all that turned out to be nothing, really, beside the frustration I soon began to feel over the thinness of my imagination and what that promised for the future. Dad-da, Florence, the great Durante; her babyishness and desire, his mad, heroic restraint— Oh, if only I could have imagined the scene I'd overheard! If only I could invent as presumptuously as real life!
The Ghost Writer

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      ( 12:32 PM ) The Rat  
WORLD'S BIGGEST LIAR to defend his title today.

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Wednesday, November 13, 2002
      ( 3:21 PM ) The Rat  

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Tuesday, November 12, 2002
      ( 12:40 PM ) The Rat  
WOMEN ENJOY BEST SEX WITHIN MARRIAGE. Is this really a news flash to anybody besides Erica Jong?

Two thirds of married women say the best sex they've had is with their husband, compared to 13 percent who say it was when they were single and just nine percent when having an affair, a survey by British health magazine Top Sante said Tuesday.

"This survey turns on its head the idea that the best sex is when we are footloose, fancy free and single," Juliette Kellow,
Top Sante's editor, said.

"The truth is truly great sex and deep intimacy are most likely to happen within the trusting, committed environment of marriage or a long-term relationship."

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      ( 12:29 PM ) The Rat  
No more be grieved at that which thou hast done:
Roses have thorns, and silver fountains mud;
Clouds and eclipses stain both moon and sun,
And loathsome canker lives in sweetest bud.
All men make faults, and even I in this,
Authorizing thy trespass with compare,
Myself corrupting, salving thy amiss,
Excusing thy sins more than thy sins are;
For to thy sensual fault I bring in sense—
Thy adverse party is thy advocate—
And 'gainst myself a lawful plea commence:
Such civil war is in my love and hate
That I an accessory needs must be
To that sweet thief which sourly robs from me.
—Sonnet XXXV

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Monday, November 11, 2002
      ( 2:13 PM ) The Rat  

To pass time before a long afternoon meeting, officials from the wealthy southeastern province of Zhejiang turned a staid conference room in the hallowed Great Hall of the People into an impromptu karaoke parlour, complete with off-key warbling...

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      ( 2:07 PM ) The Rat  
However, the "gastronomical magic" was not limited only to what I have just described. Each of the various dishes on the menu assaulted the club members' taste buds from an unexpected direction, and all were the products of utterly different tastes and conceptions. "Taste buds," did I say? That may not do justice to the case. Actually, the members were able truly to savor the various dishes only after having employed every one of the senses they were endowed with. They did not merely taste the cuisine with their tongues: they had to taste it with their eyes, their noses, their ears, and at times with their skin. At the risk of exaggerating, every part of them had to become a tongue...
—Junichiro Tanizaki, "The Gourmet Club"

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Friday, November 08, 2002
      ( 5:54 PM ) The Rat  
AND, ON THIS QUIZ (again via Zorak), as "True Neutral Elf Mage." Aren't you glad you know that.

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      ( 5:44 PM ) The Rat  
I TESTED AS JOHN ADAMS on this quiz (link via Zorak), which should come as a surprise to no one.

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      ( 4:24 PM ) The Rat  
LATEST INDUCTEES to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

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      ( 4:16 PM ) The Rat  
THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING has been lit up in red and yellow this past week, which I suppose is meant as some kind of "harvest colors" theme but actually looks more like a tribute to McDonald's.

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      ( 4:15 PM ) The Rat  
IT'S A HARD LIFE BEING AN ANTI-GLOBALIZATION ACTIVIST—you might even have to go to Florence.

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      ( 2:02 PM ) The Rat  
AND HERE ARE SOME penguins swimming.

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      ( 2:00 PM ) The Rat  
MICHIGAN PULLS DOWN Fab Five era banners.

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      ( 1:56 PM ) The Rat  
"UNKNOWN CHILD" now known.

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Thursday, November 07, 2002
      ( 3:25 PM ) The Rat  
AL QAEDA SAYS it was behind the Bali bombing.

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      ( 3:03 PM ) The Rat  
A CARTOON that sums up the prevailing mood at the office today.

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      ( 1:35 PM ) The Rat  
MAGGIE THATCHER named as top role model in poll of British working women. Though I have to say, the lady side-blotched lizard may be even more impressive.

"This is the ultimate example of a female having her cake and eating it too," said Mr. Calsbeek, the first author of a study appearing Tuesday in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. "It would be like a human female who marries a short, dumpy rich guy and then has an affair with a muscular 20-year-old to have a handsome son who grows up in a mansion and goes to the best schools."

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      ( 1:29 PM ) The Rat  

Marital bliss appears to have survived a political race that pitted county Judge Steve Becker against his wife.

Becker, a Republican, drew 13,375 votes to the 5,638 cast for wife Sarah Sweet-McKinnon, a Democrat who works as a public defender in Wichita.

There were no hard feelings after the results were announced.

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      ( 1:19 PM ) The Rat  
POSTSCRIPT IN A LETTER FROM MY FATHER THAT JUST ARRIVED: "The Taiwanese have invested 400 billion in mainland China and China has 400 missiles aiming at Taiwan."

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      ( 12:14 PM ) The Rat  
PERSONALLY, I FIND THIS COVER offensive—the Simpsons are way cooler than the Beatles. Hell, root canals are way cooler than the Beatles.

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      ( 11:51 AM ) The Rat  
IF THE ONE ON NEW YORK (which I found last night at the Strand) is any indication, these "City Secrets" guides are fantastic. Who knew Grand Central Station had a whispering gallery?

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      ( 11:37 AM ) The Rat  
AN INTERVIEW WITH DONNA TARTT—though I'm afraid the new novel doesn't sound promising.

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      ( 11:30 AM ) The Rat  
NEW YORK HAS EVERYTHING: museums, concerts, fashion, and now, bubonic plague.

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      ( 11:23 AM ) The Rat  
A CONNECTICUT PROFESSOR AND HIS FAMILY were among those killed in yesterday's Paris-Munich train fire.

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      ( 11:22 AM ) The Rat  
NEW YORK CITY turns out to have better air quality than upstate New York, according to the latest reports. Evidently the bulk of the pollutants are blown over from the Midwest, and by the time they reach NYC attrition has claimed most of them. Which just confirms my general theory that one should always live as far from the Midwest as possible.

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      ( 11:20 AM ) The Rat  
I LOVE HOW THIS STORY, about Bush calling Putin to discuss Iraq, is helpfully illustrated with a photograph in case you can't imagine what Bush would look like on the phone.

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Scientists have pinpointed an area of the brain involved in overcoming fear which may help to improve treatments for people suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and anxiety attacks.

When they stimulated the region of the brain in laboratory rats who had been conditioned to associate a sound with a small electrical shock, their fear diminished.

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      ( 11:16 AM ) The Rat  
"Oh, honey—have you seen what's out there?"
—Lauren Bacall on being asked by Francine Russo why she was not romantically involved at the time

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Wednesday, November 06, 2002
      ( 1:21 PM ) The Rat  
THIS MATISSE-PICASSO EXHIBIT is following me around. It was at the Tate Modern when Eve and I were in London in July/August, will still be at the Galeries Nationales when I'm in Paris in December/January, and in February will arrive at New York's MoMA. OTOH it's by no means the worst thing that could have followed me out of the Tate.

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      ( 1:12 PM ) The Rat  
ROMANIAN WORKERS DONATE SPERM TO PAY FACTORY'S DEBTS. This is funny until you remember daddy's little ejaculates will be all grown up one day.

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      ( 1:04 PM ) The Rat  
RUSSIAN ARMY OFFICER ADMITS TO DILDO-WHIPPING SOLDIERS. Um, okay. The runner-up for weirdness in this story is that the name of the newspaper is "Newspaper" [Gazeta].

Captain Damir Ilyasov received a two-year suspended sentence for battering his subordinates with a 'black latex baton shaped like a male sex organ.'

The soldiers, however, said at the military court hearing that the commander 'only hit them lightly.'

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      ( 10:29 AM ) The Rat  

While most states, like Illinois, only give parents choice in the disposition of the remains after 20 weeks of pregnancy, a few states, such as Massachusetts, require hospitals to tell parents they can control the burial or cremation of remains after any stage of a pregnancy loss. Funeral homes handle the arrangements. Parents in the Bay State also can ask the hospital to handle the remains, which may or may not bury or cremate the remains.

But in the majority of states, contents of the womb prior to 20 weeks of gestation would be handled like medical waste. Hospitals incinerate the material as they would tumors or gallstones. [...]

Approximately 500,000 miscarriages occur in the United States each year.

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      ( 10:21 AM ) The Rat  
IS YOUR COMPUTER MAKING YOU SICK? Or is it just my website?

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      ( 10:16 AM ) The Rat  
And in 1918, when I was twenty-five, I had a sort of debauch of reading that made a certain difference to my outlook.
Coming Up for Air

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Tuesday, November 05, 2002
      ( 8:55 PM ) The Rat  
OVERHEARD JUST NOW AT THE OFFICE: "You'll never land planes on an aircraft carrier, but you're a good editor."

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      ( 9:19 AM ) The Rat  
SCREW THE ELECTIONS. HAPPY GUY FAWKES DAY! (There's even an Agatha Christie story specific to this holiday.)

Please to remember
The Fifth of November,
Gunpowder treason and plot;
I see no reason
Why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.

Guy, guy, guy!
Stick him up on high;
Hang him on a lamp post
And leave him there to die.

Ladies and gentlemen you'll never grow fat,
If you don't put a penny in the old Guy's hat.

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Monday, November 04, 2002
      ( 3:15 PM ) The Rat  
CLICK HERE for another impolitic use of the word "baby" in a caption.

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      ( 3:01 PM ) The Rat  
THIS CARTOON EXPLAINS MUCH about male and female human nature.

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      ( 1:49 PM ) The Rat  
WAS LAST NIGHT RE-READING "ALI THE PERSIAN'S STORY OF THE KURD SHARPER," one of my favorite tales from the Thousand and One Nights. As this translation is out of copyright, I can reproduce it in its entirety (it's also reprinted here):

The Khalif Haroun er Reshid, being more than commonly restless one night, sent for his vizier and said to him, 'O Jaafer, I am sore wakeful and heavy at heart tonight, and I desire of thee what may cheer my spirit and ease me of my oppression.' 'O Commander of the Faithful,' answered Jaafer, 'I have a friend, by name Ali the Persian, who hath store of tales and pleasant stories, such as lighten the heart and do away care.' 'Fetch him to me,' said the khalif. 'I hear and obey,' replied Jaafer, and, going out from before him, sent for Ali the Persian and said to him, 'The Commander of the Faithful calls for thee.' 'I hear and obey,' answered Ali and followed the vizier into the presence of the khalif, who bade him be seated and said to him, 'O Ali, my heart is heavy within me this night and I hear that thou hast great store of tales and anecdotes; so I desire of thee that thou let me hear what will relieve my oppression and gladden my melancholy.' 'O Commander of the Faithful,' said he, 'shall I tell thee what I have seen with my eyes or what I have heard with my ears?' 'An thou have seen aught worth telling,' replied the khalif, 'let me hear that.'

Know then, O Commander of the Faithful, said Ali, that some years ago I left this my native city of Baghdad on a journey, having with me a boy who carried a light wallet. Presently we came to a certain city, where, as I was buying and selling, a rascally thief of a Kurd fell on me and seized my wallet, saying, 'This is my bag, and all that is in it is my property.' Thereupon, 'Ho, Muslims all,' cried I, 'deliver me from the hand of the vilest of oppressors!' But they all said, 'Come, both of you, to the cadi and submit yourselves to his judgment.' I agreed to this and we both presented ourselves before the cadi, who said, 'What brings you hither and what is your case?' Quoth I, 'We are men at difference, who appeal to thee and submit ourselves to thy judgment.' 'Which of you is the complainant?' asked the cadi. So the Kurd came forward and said, 'God preserve our lord the cadi! Verily, this bag is my bag and all that is in it is my property. It was lost from me and I found it with this man.' 'When didst thou lose it?' asked the cadi. 'But yesterday,' replied the Kurd; 'and I passed a sleepless night by reason of its loss.' 'If it be thy bag,' said the cadi, 'tell me what is in it.' Quoth the Kurd, 'There were in my bag two silver styles and eye-powders and a handkerchief, and I had laid therein two gilt cups and two candlesticks. Moreover, it contained two tents and two platters and two hooks and a cushion and two leather rugs and two ewers and a brass tray and two basins and a cooking-pot and two water-jars and a ladle and a sacking-needle and a she-cat and two bitches and a wooden trencher and two sacks and two saddles and a gown and two fur pelisses and a cow and two calves and a she-goat and two sheep and an ewe and two lambs and two green pavilions and a camel and two she-camels and a she-buffalo and two bulls and a lioness and two lions and a she-bear and two foxes and a mattress and two couches and an upper chamber and two saloons and a portico and two anterooms and a kitchen with two doors and a company of Kurds who will testify that the bag is mine.' Then said the cadi to me, 'And thou, what sayest thou?' So I came forward, O Commander of the Faithful (and indeed the Kurd's speech had bewildered me), and said, 'God advance our lord the cadi! There was nothing in this my wallet, save a little ruined house and another without a door and a dog-kennel and a boys' school and youths playing dice and tents and tent-poles and the cities of Bassora and Baghdad and the palace of Sheddad ben Aad and a smith's forge and a fishing net and cudgels and pickets and girls and boys and a thousand pimps, who will testify that the bag is my bag.' When the Kurd heard my words he wept and wailed and said, 'O my lord the cadi, my bag is known and what is in it is renowned; therein are castles and citadels and cranes and beasts of prey and men playing chess and draughts. Moreover, in this my bag is a brood-mare and two colts and a stallion and two blood-horses and two long lances and a lion and two hares and a city and two villages and a courtesan and two sharking pimps and a catamite and two gallows-birds and a blind man and two dogs and a cripple and two lameters and a priest and two deacons and a patriarch and two monks and a cadi and two assessors, who will testify that the bag is my bag.' Quoth the cadi to me, 'And what sayest thou, O Ali?' So, O Commander of the Faithful, being filled with rage, I came forward and said, 'God keep our lord the cadi! I had in this my wallet a coat of mail and a broadsword and armouries and a thousand fighting rams and a sheepfold and a thousand barking dogs and gardens and vines and flowers and sweet herbs and figs and apples and pictures and statues and flagons and goblets and fair-faced slave girls and singing women and marriage feasts and tumult and clamour and great tracts of land and brothers of success and a company of daybreak raiders, with swords and spears and bows and arrows, and true friends and dear ones and intimates and comrades and men imprisoned for punishment and cup companions and a drum and flutes and flags and banners and boys and girls and brides, in all their wedding bravery, and singing girls and five Abyssinian women and three Hindi and four women of Medina and a score of Greek girls and half a hundred Turkish and threescore and ten Persian girls and fourscore Kurd and fourscore and ten Georgian women and Tigris and Euphrates and a fowling net and a flint and steel and Many-Columned Irem and a thousand rogues and pimps and horse-courses and stables and mosques and baths and a builder and a carpenter and a plank and a nail and a black slave, with a pair of recorders, and a captain and a caravan leader and towns and cities and a hundred thousand dinars and Cufa and Ambar and twenty chests full of stuffs and twenty storehouses for victual and Gaza and Askalon and from Damietta to Essouan and the palace of Kisra Anoushirwan and the kingdom of Solomon and from Wadi Numan to the land Khorassan and Balkh and Ispahan and from India to the Soudan. Therein also (may God prolong the life of our lord the cadi!) are doublets and cloths and a thousand sharp razors to shave the cadi's chin, except he fear my resentment and adjudge the bag to be mine.'

When the cadi heard what I and the Kurd avouched, he was confounded and said, 'I see ye are none other than two pestilent atheistical fellows, who make sport of cadis and magistrates and stand not in fear of reproach. Never did any tell or hear tell of aught more extraordinary than that which ye pretend. By Allah, from China to Shejreh umm Ghailan, nor from Fars to the Soudan, nor from Wadi Numan to Khorassan, was ever heard or credited the like of what ye avouch! Is this bag a bottomless sea or the Day of Resurrection, that shall gather together the just and unjust?' Then he bade open the bag; so I opened it and behold, there was in it bread and a lemon and cheese and olives. So I threw it down before the Kurd and went away.

When the khalif heard Ali's story, he laughed till he fell backwards and made him a handsome present.

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:49 PM

      ( 12:49 PM ) The Rat  
THE NEWEST BOND GIRL. This is a real comedown after babes like Ursula Andress et al.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:49 PM

Saturday, November 02, 2002
      ( 2:57 PM ) The Rat  
SPOTTED ABOUT HALF AN HOUR AGO on 34th Street: a party of Amish tourists. (Could I make that up?) And no, these weren't Halloween revelers.

# Posted by The Rat @ 2:57 PM

Friday, November 01, 2002
      ( 3:19 PM ) The Rat  
This man who may be trying to write his way out of the underground, originally read his way into it.
—Richard Pevear on the underground man

# Posted by The Rat @ 3:19 PM

A page I'm starting to get the overlords at to stop $#@! bugging me

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