Tuesday, December 31, 2002
( 6:39 AM ) The Rat
WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE DOING RIGHT AT THIS VERY MOMENT CANNOT POSSIBLY BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN READING THIS BOOK.
# Posted by The Rat @ 6:39 AM
( 6:37 AM ) The Rat
THE RAT doesn't want to leave Paris for New York. In the same vein, she would also rather be rich than stupid.
# Posted by The Rat @ 6:37 AM
Wednesday, December 18, 2002
( 9:57 AM ) The Rat
GREAT MOMENTS IN AMERICAN DIALECTIC. Quoting the Sioux Falls, S.D., Argus Leader:
Barnett's harshest words were for some of the national publicity generated from this story.
He cited the current National Review cover story entitled "Invalid Senator" now on the market.
"I think the National Review was shoddy, irresponsible, sensational garbage," Barnett said. "The descriptions were so inaccurate."
He read an overview of the story and says part of their information is based on the affidavits.
"They'd better start back-pedaling," he said.
Byron York, the New York author of the article, took issue with Barnett's claim.
"It was not shoddy, not irresponsible, not sensationalistic, not garbage," York said.
# Posted by The Rat @ 9:57 AM
( 12:32 AM ) The Rat
I AM ELMO'S TRANSVESTITE CRACKWHORE PAST. Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You? This is beyond cool. Thanks to Eve for the link.
# Posted by The Rat @ 12:32 AM
Tuesday, December 17, 2002
( 4:42 PM ) The Rat
A PHOTOGRAPH THAT WILL MAKE YOU JEALOUS. This is pretty cool too.
# Posted by The Rat @ 4:42 PM
Monday, December 16, 2002
( 9:36 PM ) The Rat
GOOD PIECE BY EMILY YOFFE on new Rhodes Scholar Chesa Boudin.
# Posted by The Rat @ 9:36 PM
Friday, December 13, 2002
( 10:59 PM ) The Rat
SHEEP WITH BEAUTIFUL BUTTOCKS. As if there were any other kind.
# Posted by The Rat @ 10:59 PM
( 1:33 PM ) The Rat
HERE, GO READ SOME BLOOM COUNTY, the coolest comic strip ever (but skip Outland, which was lame). Note that quite a lot of 'em are still perfectly true of American politics now, 10 to 20 years after publication—no. 29, for instance.
# Posted by The Rat @ 1:33 PM
( 12:59 PM ) The Rat
THE LATEST ON YOUR MOONING RIGHTS.
# Posted by The Rat @ 12:59 PM
( 12:43 PM ) The Rat
WHY DON'T WE SEND JIMMY CARTER TO THE MIDEAST and have everybody shoot at him?
# Posted by The Rat @ 12:43 PM
( 12:39 PM ) The Rat
I WAS VACCINATED for smallpox, having lived until age 2 in Taiwan, where they were still administering the vaccine a few years after the U.S. had stopped. But it turns out the vaccine's effectiveness diminishes after ten years—meaning there really isn't any point to having had this ridiculous mark on my arm all these years. Life lets the Rat down again.
# Posted by The Rat @ 12:39 PM
Thursday, December 12, 2002
( 5:36 PM ) The Rat
GREAT FIRST LINES. Column by my boss that includes such citations as:
"Five friends I had, and two of them snakes."
—Frederick Buechner, Godric
"High, high above the North Pole, on the first day of 1969, two professors of English Literature approached each other at a combined velocity of 1200 miles per hour."
—David Lodge, Changing Places: A Tale of Two Campuses
# Posted by The Rat @ 5:36 PM
( 2:49 PM ) The Rat
FREUD HAD NO COMMENT.
# Posted by The Rat @ 2:49 PM
( 2:27 PM ) The Rat
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Wednesday, December 11, 2002
( 1:47 PM ) The Rat
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Saturday, December 07, 2002
( 11:29 AM ) The Rat
TEXAN KILLED FRIEND WHO DRANK LAST COLD BEER. And yet, they convicted.
# Posted by The Rat @ 11:29 AM
Friday, December 06, 2002
( 4:09 AM ) The Rat
MORBID FACT DU JOUR.
# Posted by The Rat @ 4:09 AM
( 3:57 AM ) The Rat
YOU HATE US! YOU REALLY HATE US!
# Posted by The Rat @ 3:57 AM
( 12:51 AM ) The Rat
DON'T WE ALL. From an article on Giacometti I just came across online:
"Giacometti's L'homme qui marche [The walking man] in and of itself symbolizes the very nature of this century; it expresses all the difficulty of being..."
# Posted by The Rat @ 12:51 AM
Thursday, December 05, 2002
( 10:37 PM ) The Rat
AND DID YOU KNOW the entire text of The Gambler (Igrok) is available online? You can even do searches—if, that is, you're a freak like me.
# Posted by The Rat @ 10:37 PM
( 10:27 PM ) The Rat
IF YOU'RE GOING TO WRITE A TITLE, WRITE A TITLE. Just found this in the 42nd St. Library catalog. An actual book, by one M. W. Weems (Philadelphia, 1816):
God's Revenge Against Gambling: Exemplified in the miserable lives and untimely deaths of a number of persons of both sexes who had sacrificed their health, wealth, and honor at the gaming tables. With curious anecdotes of the following unfortunate gamblers: I. Miss Fanny Braddock... II. Drisden Harwood... III. Jack Gilmore... IV. T. Alston... V. Maria Antoinette... VI. Other awful cases of young gamblers, and their untimely ends
# Posted by The Rat @ 10:27 PM
( 9:29 PM ) The Rat
AND TO CONTINUE ON THE THEME, click here for Monty Python's "Prejudice" sketch.
Well now, the result of last week's competition when we asked you to find a derogatory term for the Belgians. Well, the response was enormous and we took quite a long time sorting out the winners. There were some very clever entries. Mrs. Hatred of Leicester Said 'Let's not call them anything, let's just ignore them' [applause starts vigorously, but he holds his hands up for silence]... and a Mr. St. John of Huntingdon said he couldn't think of anything more derogatory than Belgians. [cheers and appluse; a girl in showgirl costume comes on and holds up placards through next bit] But in the end we settled on three choices: number three... the Sprouts [placard 'The Sprouts'], sent in by Mrs. Vicious of Hastings... very nice; number two... the Phlegms [placard]... from Mrs. Childmolester of Worthing; but the winner was undoubtedly from Mrs. No-Supper-For-You from Norwood in Lancashire... Miserable Fat Belgian Bastards. [placard; roar of applause]
# Posted by The Rat @ 9:29 PM
( 9:12 PM ) The Rat
EUROPEAN HATE CHART. This is great. Via Eve.
# Posted by The Rat @ 9:12 PM
( 9:09 PM ) The Rat
LIKE WE NEEDED ANOTHER REASON TO HATE CASTRO. Via Shamed.
# Posted by The Rat @ 9:09 PM
( 9:08 PM ) The Rat
FROM AN E-MAIL FROM A FRIEND WHO MAY AS WELL REMAIN NAMELESS (since anyone reading this knows my circle well enough to guess who said it): "Observe the snow. It fornicates."
# Posted by The Rat @ 9:08 PM
Tuesday, December 03, 2002
( 12:15 PM ) The Rat
WISH I'D THOUGHT OF THIS. A coworker describing the sub-zero temperatures we had here yesterday when the boiler broke down:
"Hell finally froze over."
# Posted by The Rat @ 12:15 PM
( 11:37 AM ) The Rat
CHARMING NEW FINDINGS about the Iraqi regime.
Torture techniques include electric shocks, sexual abuse, beatings, mock executions and acid baths.
Women have been tortured, ill-treated and summarily executed, according to Amnesty International reports quoted by the Foreign Office dossier. [...] It adds: "Human rights organisations and opposition groups continue to receive reports of women who have suffered psychological trauma after being raped by Iraqi personnel while in custody." The dossier claims to have evidence of an Iraqi official acting as a "professional rapist." A government personnel card, taken from an Iraq research project at Harvard University, describes a man's occupation as "violation of women's honour."
# Posted by The Rat @ 11:37 AM
Monday, December 02, 2002
( 2:07 PM ) The Rat
DAVE BARRY'S 2002 GIFT GUIDE. Check out the menopause pop-up book.
But this item is not just for the hunter on your holiday list. This is for anybody who wants to look more like a tree...
# Posted by The Rat @ 2:07 PM
( 11:40 AM ) The Rat
OVERHEARD AT THIS MORNING'S MEETING: "He was a fertility god, wasn't he?" The "he" in question being, JFK.
# Posted by The Rat @ 11:40 AM
( 11:39 AM ) The Rat
BELGIAN SENATE APPROVES BILL RECOGNIZING SAME-SEX MARRIAGE (but prohibiting gay adoption).
# Posted by The Rat @ 11:39 AM
Sunday, December 01, 2002
( 1:13 PM ) The Rat
FROM AN AD for A Bit MORE Fry & Laurie at the back of an early edition of Stephen Fry's The Liar:
Here are some of the things that have been said about A Bit MORE Fry & Laurie:
"It's no good, Trevis, this kindling wood is soaked through; pass me A Bit MORE Fry & Laurie and some paraffin."
"Damn, it's still wobbling. We need something thicker. How about that A Bit MORE Fry & Laurie?"
"Never mind, love. It often happens. You're nervous I expect. Flick through this copy of A Bit MORE Fry & Laurie—that'll get you going."
"I'll show you what I mean. I draw a man on page 187 of, say, this copy of A Bit MORE Fry & Laurie and another on page 185, but this time his knee is a bit more bent. And so on. Then when I flick through the pages fast he gives the impression of walking. Basic animation, but at a fraction of the cost."
"Tee-hee! I'll shove a copy of A Bit MORE Fry & Laurie down my trousers. Old Felchley can whack as hard as he likes then, but I won't feel a thing. Smirk!"
# Posted by The Rat @ 1:13 PM