The Rat
Wednesday, April 30, 2003
      ( 2:39 PM ) The Rat  
LISTEN UP, EVERYONE: Norman Mailer has something to say about the white male ego.

# Posted by The Rat @ 2:39 PM


      ( 2:38 PM ) The Rat  
MORE PRC IDEAS FOR COPING WITH SARS.

"In the development of human history, people inevitably encounter such disasters," [the General Administration of Press and Publication] said in a statement posted on Internet portals such as sina.com.cn.

"We think this is just the time to catch up on reading."

# Posted by The Rat @ 2:38 PM


      ( 1:04 PM ) The Rat  
YET ANOTHER REASON TO LOVE PAGE SIX.

FADER magazine needs some fact-checkers. In the May issue's profile on Hank Williams III—the son of Hank Williams Jr. and grandson of country pioneer Hank Williams—the hipster music mag devotes a whole page to his quote: "And to the mother[bleeper] from the Daily News: [Bleep] my mother[bleeping] [bleep]." In fact, Hank III delivered that lovely tribute to The Post, not the Daily News...

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:04 PM


      ( 1:03 PM ) The Rat  
A NEW ANTHOLOGY of arguments for and against the war in Iraq.

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:03 PM


      ( 1:02 PM ) The Rat  
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
—Twain

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:02 PM



Tuesday, April 29, 2003
      ( 5:39 PM ) The Rat  
WHY I SHOP AT FORTNUM & MASON.

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:39 PM


      ( 5:38 PM ) The Rat  
WE NEED AN ENGLISH WORD FOR the emotion depicted in the last frame of this cartoon.

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:38 PM


      ( 5:31 PM ) The Rat  
WEIRDLY MAGRITTE-LIKE PHOTO.

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:31 PM


      ( 5:27 PM ) The Rat  
I HATE IT WHEN THIS HAPPENS!

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:27 PM


      ( 5:25 PM ) The Rat  
MOHAMMED SAEED AL-SAHAF in the news.

The Al-Arabiya satellite channel has confirmed that it has offered employment to the former Iraqi Minister of Information Mohammed Saeed Al-Sahaf. Ali Al-Hudaithi, director general of Al-Arabiya, told Arab news that Al-Sahaf would be free to work for the channel whenever he wanted and that the channel would facilitate whatever he needed, including a residence permit.

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:25 PM


      ( 5:12 PM ) The Rat  
THE RAT isn't sure what the caption on this means, but she's sure it can be done more cheaply than that.

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:12 PM


      ( 5:11 PM ) The Rat  
A BIT AFTER THE FACT, but is this a headline or what?

This one also gets right to the point.

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:11 PM


      ( 5:10 PM ) The Rat  
APROPOS OF NOTHING, those new all-white-meat McNuggets suck.

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:10 PM


      ( 5:08 PM ) The Rat  
The best readers come to fiction to be free of all that isn’t fiction.
—Philip Roth

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:08 PM



Monday, April 28, 2003
      ( 11:18 AM ) The Rat  
"It comes down to this: Hef thinks he is publishing Time or Newsweek. He has never been able to come to grips with the fact that he is a pornographer."
Larry Flynt, of Hugh Hefner, in the IHT

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:18 AM



Friday, April 25, 2003
      ( 4:17 PM ) The Rat  
SHAKESPEARE VODKA. "Taste the poetry!"

# Posted by The Rat @ 4:17 PM


      ( 2:25 PM ) The Rat  
INSTANT BOYFRIEND. Yikes.

# Posted by The Rat @ 2:25 PM


      ( 2:23 PM ) The Rat  
THIS WEEK'S SEARCH REQUESTS.

defloration cartoon
how much ibuprofen to give rat
When I see stabbing a guy
rat quatrains (result #1)
trapped in a woman's body
marshmallow peeps fetish naked

# Posted by The Rat @ 2:23 PM


      ( 2:21 PM ) The Rat  
"I could pick a century out of a hat, blindfolded, and come up with a better one!"
—Oliver Larrabee (Walter Hampden) on the 20th century, in Sabrina

# Posted by The Rat @ 2:21 PM



Thursday, April 24, 2003
      ( 8:40 PM ) The Rat  
FROM BEST OF THE WEB: The Washington Post's Lloyd Grove reports that an error crept into the closed-captioning of Tuesday's "World News Tonight" on ABC. According to the wayward caption, Alan Greenspan was "in the hospital for an enlarged prostitute." Greenspan's wife, Andrea Mitchell, tells Grove: "He should be so lucky."

# Posted by The Rat @ 8:40 PM


      ( 2:21 PM ) The Rat  
FREAKS!

# Posted by The Rat @ 2:21 PM


      ( 12:00 PM ) The Rat  
BUY A BOOK FOR A SOLDIER.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:00 PM


      ( 11:53 AM ) The Rat  
CHARLIE DOUGLASS, inventor of the laugh track, has died.

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:53 AM


      ( 11:51 AM ) The Rat  
"When people ask me what academic degrees I have, I tell them BS, MS and PhD: Bull Shit, More Shit, and Piled Higher and Deeper!"
ProfQuotes

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:51 AM



Wednesday, April 23, 2003
      ( 1:34 PM ) The Rat  
INTERNAL MEMOS.COM.

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:34 PM


      ( 1:14 PM ) The Rat  
CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM TRAILER PARK AFTER DRUNKEN CONFRONTATION WITH COMMON-LAW WIFE.

Police were initially summoned when neighbors reported hearing shouting and a loud crash, followed by a rambling polemic on Kissinger's alleged covert approval of Indonesia's illegal invasion of East Timor in 1975.

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:14 PM


      ( 1:12 PM ) The Rat  
REAR OF THE YEAR.

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:12 PM


      ( 1:06 PM ) The Rat  
VERTIGO THEN AND NOW. Very cool.

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:06 PM


      ( 1:05 PM ) The Rat  
TAKE THIS NIFTY MIDEAST GEOGRAPHY QUIZ, link via Eve.

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:05 PM


      ( 12:13 PM ) The Rat  
PETA URGES HAMBURG NAME CHANGE.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:13 PM


      ( 12:11 PM ) The Rat  
IS YOUR ORGANIZATION A CULT?

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:11 PM


      ( 12:10 PM ) The Rat  
I wish you read books (you know those things that look like bricks but come open on one side).
—F. Scott Fitzgerald in a letter to Zelda

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:10 PM



Tuesday, April 22, 2003
      ( 1:47 PM ) The Rat  
PIN-UP PRIESTS.

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:47 PM


      ( 1:42 PM ) The Rat  
BERKELEY CONSIDERS PROFESSOR-STUDENT DATING BAN.

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:42 PM


      ( 1:41 PM ) The Rat  
ON THE BUS THIS MORNING, a fortyish, weatherworn woman declaiming to all and sundry about the iniquities of the less-fair sex. "Men!" she exclaims venomously, "—let me tell you, everybody knows this—men... they just want one thing."

She then proceeded to list three things, two of which were the same.

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:41 PM


      ( 1:36 PM ) The Rat  
NOW BACKS DOWN OVER COMMENTS.

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:36 PM


      ( 1:35 PM ) The Rat  
THE HEARINGS ON SEOK JAE-HYUN, the NYT photographer jailed by the ChiComs, are today.

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:35 PM


      ( 1:32 PM ) The Rat  
"Here is my opinion. Women are the chief stumbling-blocks to a man's career. It is difficult to love a woman and do anything else. To achieve it and to love in comfort and unhampered, the only way is to marry! How am I to put to you what I think?" And Serpukhovskoy, who was fond of similes, went on: "Wait a bit! Wait a bit!... Yes, if you had to carry a load and use your hands at the same time, it would be possible only if the load were strapped on your back: and this is marriage. I found out that when I married, I suddenly had my hands free. But if you drag that load without marriage, your hands are so full that you can do nothing else. Look at Mazankov, at Krupov! They have ruined their careers because of women!"
Anna Karenina

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:32 PM



Monday, April 21, 2003
      ( 4:43 PM ) The Rat  
ONE-UPPING BRANDI CHASTAIN.

Besiktas striker Pascal Nouma has apologised for sticking his hand down his shorts after scoring in his side's 2-0 Turkish super league win over Fenerbahce.

Nouma celebrated his eighth minute goal by ripping off his shirt and shoving a hand down the front of his shorts...

The French striker told a news conference on Monday he had been overcome with excitement after a long period without scoring a goal. "It's very important to score against Fenerbahce, particularly for the team, but no one knows what goes through your head when you score. I shouldn't have done it," he said. He added: "If it wounded Turkey, then I am sorry."

Commentators and players alike joined to express distaste. "Why he did that and to what end I have no idea," said Besiktas captain Tayfur Havutcu.

# Posted by The Rat @ 4:43 PM


      ( 12:45 PM ) The Rat  
NOW OBJECTS TO MURDER CHARGE FOR LACI PETERSON'S BABY.

The head of the National Organization for Women's Morris County chapter is opposing a double-murder charge in the Laci Peterson case, saying it could provide ammunition to the pro-life lobby.

"If this is murder, well, then any time a late-term fetus is aborted, they could call it murder," Morris County NOW President Mavra Stark said on Saturday.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:45 PM


      ( 12:42 PM ) The Rat  
BIN LADEN GAME.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:42 PM


      ( 12:32 PM ) The Rat  
FIRST PAPER TO HIT BAGHDAD'S STREETS IS RED.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:32 PM


      ( 12:31 PM ) The Rat  
"I expect you'll be becoming a schoolmaster, sir. That's what most of the gentlemen does, sir, that gets sent down for indecent behavior."
Decline and Fall

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:31 PM



Thursday, April 17, 2003
      ( 5:13 PM ) The Rat  
ANOTHER PAGE O' PEEPS, via Shamed.

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:13 PM


      ( 5:07 PM ) The Rat  
THE ANNUAL READING OF THE INFERNO at St. John the Divine is tonight from 9 till midnight, admission free. Barbara Feldon (Agent 99 on Get Smart) was one of the readers last year, which was pretty swift.

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:07 PM


      ( 12:17 PM ) The Rat  
CNN.COM ACCIDENTALLY REVEALS OBITS OF LIVING PEOPLE.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:17 PM


      ( 12:16 PM ) The Rat  
MARSHMALLOW PEEPS. They have a giant one of these up outside Macy's on the 34th St. side, very cool.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:16 PM


      ( 12:08 PM ) The Rat  
LEAVE IT TO THE GERMANS TO THINK OF THIS APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM...

A German company says it wants to market a new condom to improve men's sexual performance by numbing the penis to prevent premature ejaculation.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:08 PM


      ( 11:58 AM ) The Rat  
PARTISAN REVIEW DIES.

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:58 AM


      ( 11:57 AM ) The Rat  
Home from Guatemala, back at the Waldorf.
This arrival in the wild country of the soul,
All approaches gone, being completely there,
Where the wild poem is a substitute
For the woman one loves or ought to love,
One wild rhapsody a fake for another.

You touch the hotel the way you touch moonlight
Or sunlight and you hum and the orchestra
Hums and you say "The world in a verse,

A generation sealed, men remoter than mountains,
Women invisible in music and motion and color,"
After that alien, point-blank, green and actual Guatemala.

—Wallace Stevens

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:57 AM



Wednesday, April 16, 2003
      ( 12:44 PM ) The Rat  
SIGNS OF THE APOCALYPSE, THE GAME.

Video game publisher 3DO Co., on Tuesday said it had signed a licensing deal to develop toy action figures based on an upcoming game featuring the biblical "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse": War, Pestilence, Famine, and Death...

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:44 PM


      ( 12:43 PM ) The Rat  
WILD BOARS IN THE NEWS.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:43 PM


      ( 12:40 PM ) The Rat  
BABY POLAR BEAR!

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:40 PM


      ( 12:38 PM ) The Rat  
MY KIND OF COMMUNITY SERVICE.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:38 PM


      ( 12:33 PM ) The Rat  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LSD!

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:33 PM


      ( 12:28 PM ) The Rat  
EASTER BUNNY BEATEN AT WISCONSIN MALL.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:28 PM


      ( 11:19 AM ) The Rat  
LOOKS LIKE IT'S SAFE FOR THE RAT TO MOVE BACK TO CALIFORNIA...

Rolling Hills Estates, Calif.—Adultery will soon be legal in this small community southwest of Los Angeles.

On Monday, the City Council voted to repeal a 46-year-old ordinance that prohibited immoral conduct, which included extramarital sex. The archaic law, which could result in a $250 fine or three months in jail, was passed after the city was incorporated in 1957.

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:19 AM


      ( 11:18 AM ) The Rat  
TYPICAL JOURNALIST IS 41-YEAR-OLD WHITE MALE.

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:18 AM


      ( 11:15 AM ) The Rat  
SLATE ON MARRIED BY AMERICA.

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:15 AM


      ( 11:12 AM ) The Rat  
DISTURBING SEARCH REQUESTS.

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:12 AM


      ( 11:08 AM ) The Rat  
UNIVERSAL CURRENCY CONVERTER, useful for fantasizing about your next vacation(s) without leaving your desk.

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:08 AM


      ( 11:06 AM ) The Rat  
PIPEDREAM.

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:06 AM


      ( 11:05 AM ) The Rat  
WACKY, EVIDENTLY TRUE URBAN LEGEND. Via Eve.

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:05 AM


      ( 11:04 AM ) The Rat  
Things which simply pass by: a sailboat; the years of a person's life; spring, summer, autumn, and winter.
—Sei Shonagon, The Pillow Book

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:04 AM



Tuesday, April 15, 2003
      ( 10:28 PM ) The Rat  
SIMPLIFIED TAX FORM.

# Posted by The Rat @ 10:28 PM


      ( 10:27 PM ) The Rat  
"Death and taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them!"
Gone With the Wind

# Posted by The Rat @ 10:27 PM


      ( 5:49 PM ) The Rat  
HARRRR!!!

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:49 PM


      ( 5:48 PM ) The Rat  
ARE ALL WOMEN NUTSO, OR JUST THE ONES I CHEAT ON MY WIFE WITH?

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:48 PM


      ( 5:47 PM ) The Rat  
SLAVERCISE.COM!

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:47 PM


      ( 5:46 PM ) The Rat  
One clear night while the others slept, I climbed
the stairs to the roof of the house and under a sky
strewn with stars I gazed at the sea, at the spread of it,
the rolling crests of it raked by the wind, becoming
like bits of lace tossed in the air. I stood in the long
whispering night, waiting for something, a sign, the approach
of a distant light, and I imagined you coming closer,
the dark waves of your hair mingling with the sea,
and the dark became desire, and desire the arriving light.
The nearness, the momentary warmth of you as I stood
on that llonely height watching the slow swells of the sea
break on the shore and turn briefly into glass and disappear...
Why did I believe you would come out of nowhere? Why with all
that the world offers would you come only because I was here?
—Mark Strand

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:46 PM



Monday, April 14, 2003
      ( 12:14 PM ) The Rat  
THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES TAKES MESSAGE TO PAKISTAN. "Having these Pakistani women talking about vibrators—that's what it's all about."

My favorite line from this article: "'I know if it can happen here, it can happen anywhere,' said Ms. Osman, who rechristened the Pakistani capital 'Vaginabad.'"

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:14 PM


      ( 12:09 PM ) The Rat  
HMMM...

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:09 PM


      ( 12:05 PM ) The Rat  
HUNGOVER NORWEGIAN PUPILS TO GET EXTRA TWO HOURS IN BED.

Students at a Norwegian school are to be given an extra two hours in bed each morning next month—to help them cope with their hangovers...

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:05 PM


      ( 12:03 PM ) The Rat  
SUCCUBUS! Via Shamed.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:03 PM


      ( 12:02 PM ) The Rat  
HEADLINE DU JOUR. Second-place winner here.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:02 PM


      ( 12:01 PM ) The Rat  
LAST WEEK'S SEARCH REQUESTS. Sorry for the delay.

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photo de rat

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:01 PM


      ( 11:44 AM ) The Rat  
I.
A ghost, that loved a lady fair,
Ever in the starry air
Of midnight at her pillow stood;
And, with a sweetness skies above
The luring words of human love,
Her soul the phantom wooed.
Sweet and sweet is their poisoned note,
The little snakes' of silver throat,
In mossy skulls that nest and lie,
Ever singing "die, oh! die."

II.
Young soul, put off your flesh, and come
With me into the quiet tomb,
Our bed is lovely, dark, and sweet;
The earth will swing us, as she goes,
Beneath our coverlid of snows,
And the warm leaden sheet.
Dear and dear is their poisoned note,
The little snakes' of silver throat,
In mossy skulls that nest and lie,
Ever singing "die, oh! die."

—Thomas L. Beddoes

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:44 AM



Thursday, April 10, 2003
      ( 4:56 PM ) The Rat  
WELOVETHEIRAQIINFORMATIONMINISTER.COM. Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf's greatest hits.

# Posted by The Rat @ 4:56 PM


      ( 12:26 PM ) The Rat  
YORKIE GETS EVEN MORE SEXIST. These are great!

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:26 PM


      ( 12:23 PM ) The Rat  
AL-JAZEERA NEWSCASTS LAND ON U.S. CABLE TELEVISION.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:23 PM


      ( 11:57 AM ) The Rat  
BRITISH AIRWAYS, AIR FRANCE END CONCORDE.

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:57 AM


      ( 11:56 AM ) The Rat  
NBC PLANS MOVIE ON FORMER P.O.W., WITH OR WITHOUT RIGHTS.

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:56 AM


      ( 11:52 AM ) The Rat  
"BUT THEN AGAIN, THAT'S BENSONHURST." Cute story about the Brooklyn Marine who draped the flag on Saddam's statue.

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:52 AM


      ( 11:45 AM ) The Rat  
A lover thinks more often of how to reach his mistress than a husband thinks of guarding his wife; a prisoner thinks more often of escaping than the gaoler of locking his door; thus, whatever obstacles there may be, lovers and prisoners are almost sure to succeed.
—Stendahl, The Charterhouse of Parma

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:45 AM



Wednesday, April 09, 2003
      ( 12:39 PM ) The Rat  
CRUEL SITE OF THE DAY.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:39 PM


      ( 12:11 PM ) The Rat  
HMMM...

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:11 PM


      ( 12:10 PM ) The Rat  
P.S. LIFE STINKS! From TNR's latest e-mail update:

Robert Brustein on Theater: Why Plays Fail
Midnight's Children is overcrowded, My Life With Albertine is clumsy, and Dirty Story is just plain incoherent.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:10 PM


      ( 12:02 PM ) The Rat  
ELEPHANT SETS ANTELOPES FREE. And in other elephant-themed news, Babar's creator has died.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:02 PM


      ( 11:55 AM ) The Rat  
ARGGH!!

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:55 AM


      ( 11:49 AM ) The Rat  
GERMANS IMITATE FRENCH.

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:49 AM


      ( 11:43 AM ) The Rat  
SARS FORCES CATHOLICS TO HALT CONFESSIONS. Wacky.

"The Archbishop of Singapore has issued a directive to the priests that there will be no individual confessions and that they are to issue general forgiveness," said a spokeswoman for the Catholic News, which represents Singapore's Catholic church.

SARS, or severe acute respiratory syndrome, has killed at least 103 people worldwide, including nine in Singapore. The city-state has the world's fourth-highest number of confirmed cases.

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:43 AM


      ( 11:34 AM ) The Rat  
ARK ROYAL CREW SWITCH OFF BBC.

Sailors believe the news organisation places more faith in Iraqi reports than information coming from British or Allied sources.

One senior rating said: "The BBC always takes the Iraqis' side. It reports what they say as gospel but when it comes to us it questions and doubts everything the British and Americans are reporting."

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:34 AM


      ( 11:30 AM ) The Rat  
"Well, I think you're a heel and a stinker and I hope that one day you'll be found out."

"Found out? What do you mean?"

"Ho hee!" said Adrian, who knew that everyone lived in fear of being found out.

—Stephen Fry, The Liar

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:30 AM



Tuesday, April 08, 2003
      ( 6:15 PM ) The Rat  
THE ANAGRAM SERVER.

# Posted by The Rat @ 6:15 PM


      ( 6:09 PM ) The Rat  
SON CALLS MOM IN NEBRASKA FROM SADDAM'S BATHROOM. Cute story.

"He told me that he was going to wash his hair and brush his teeth in Saddam's private bathroom," Gloria Presnell said. "The only thing I could say to him was, 'I hope you use your own toothbrush.'"

# Posted by The Rat @ 6:09 PM


      ( 5:52 PM ) The Rat  
STORY on that makeshift morgue discovered near Basra. Here's a photo.

Here is another story on the torture and execution of Iraqi children.

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:52 PM


      ( 5:47 PM ) The Rat  
CHERRY BLOSSOMS, out of season.

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:47 PM


      ( 5:46 PM ) The Rat  
I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE who thinks this looks like a scene from The Godfather...

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:46 PM


      ( 5:39 PM ) The Rat  
HEINZ TARGETS KIDS WITH BLUE KETCHUP.

Apart from the traditional red, Heinz has already sold green, purple, pink, orange and teal ketchup.

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:39 PM


      ( 5:35 PM ) The Rat  
BUILDING ENVY, CTD.

Taiwan will not only be able to boast of being home to the world's tallest skyscraper later this year, but the fastest elevators as well. Taipei 101—a 1,667-foot tower of steel, glass and concrete due to be completed in Taipei in October 2003—will have elevators that can lift passengers one kilometer a minute, project managers said on Tuesday.

"Elevators in Europe and the United States can travel up to 600 meters per minute," said Harace Lin, president of Taipei Financial Center Corp, which is building Taipei 101. "Recently, Japan came up with one that can run at 750 meters (2,461 feet) a minute."

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:35 PM


      ( 5:35 PM ) The Rat  
Oh, is it, then, Utopian
To hope that I may meet a man
Who'll not relate, in accents suave,
The tales of girls he used to have?

—Dorothy Parker, "De Profundis"

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:35 PM



Monday, April 07, 2003
      ( 8:49 PM ) The Rat  
VINCENT "THE CHIN" GIGANTE PLEADS GUILTY.

Vincent "The Chin" Gigante, the powerful mafia boss who authorities said feigned insanity for decades in an attempt to avoid prosecution, ended the ruse Monday by admitting he misled doctors evaluating him...

# Posted by The Rat @ 8:49 PM


      ( 8:45 PM ) The Rat  
LEGOS, ANYONE?

# Posted by The Rat @ 8:45 PM


      ( 8:27 PM ) The Rat  
MOB NICKNAME GENERATOR.

# Posted by The Rat @ 8:27 PM



Friday, April 04, 2003
      ( 3:21 PM ) The Rat  
IF YOU'RE GOING TO ELOPE, ELOPE LIKE THIS.

A woman lion tamer has run away from a circus in Germany with eight lions, two tigers and the circus director's son, police said on Friday...

# Posted by The Rat @ 3:21 PM


      ( 2:45 PM ) The Rat  
MICHAEL KELLY, R.I.P.

# Posted by The Rat @ 2:45 PM


      ( 2:00 PM ) The Rat  
THIS WEEK'S SEARCH REQUESTS.

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# Posted by The Rat @ 2:00 PM


      ( 1:56 PM ) The Rat  
PILL CAN DOUBLE CANCER RISK.

The pill's use over a ten-year period doubles the risk [of cervical cancer], the study in the Lancet has said.

The study, which pooled data from 12,500 women with cervical cancer in 24 countries, found a strong link between rising risk and length of exposure to the pill.

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:56 PM


      ( 1:51 PM ) The Rat  
INTERESTING TIMES PIECE, via OpinionJournal.

Since 1996, Dr. Shikaki has been polling Palestinians about what governments they admire, and every year Israel has been the top performer, at times receiving more than 80 percent approval. The American system has been the next best, followed by the French and then, distantly trailing, the Jordanian and Egyptian.

In its early days, the Palestinian Authority held fourth place, with about 50 percent approval. Now, it is dead last, under 20 percent. Corruption, mismanagement and the stagnation of the Palestinian predicament have turned the culture of criticism against the Palestinian rulers...

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:51 PM


      ( 1:50 PM ) The Rat  
DOCTOR-REPORTER ASSISTS IN SURGERY FOR INJURED CHILD. Note that there are people against this.

Bob Steele, director of the ethics program at the Poynter Institute for Media Studies, said he was uncomfortable with Gupta's situation, now that the operation is over.

''I'm hoping and trusting that he and CNN set some thresholds,'' Steele said. ''I think it's problematic if this is a role that he's going to be playing on any kind of frequent basis. I don't think he should be reporting on it if he's also a participant. He can't bring appropriate journalistic independence and detachment to a story.''

Rosenstiel agreed that Gupta's objectivity is now in question, especially since Dr. Rob Hinks, the officer in charge of the unit, appeared on CNN yesterday and welcomed Gupta has ''an honorary member of the Devil Docs"...

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:50 PM


      ( 1:47 PM ) The Rat  
POLICE SAY MAN KEPT WIFE CHAINED IN YARD. The fuck?!

Neighbors said the bizarre situation began when the woman told her husband she wanted to leave him. "He also had her in a cage, chained up in a cage, because he didn't want her to leave" neighbor Yolanda Esquivel told WOAI radio. Another neighbor who asked that his name not be used said Thomason had "said before he'd keep her in a cage if he had to."

A neighbor had alerted police early Thursday that Patricia Thomason had a chain around her neck when the couple dropped off their two sons, ages 11 and 14, at a school...

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:47 PM


      ( 1:45 PM ) The Rat  
What you do
Still betters what is done. When you speak, sweet.
I'ld have you do it ever: when you sing,
I'ld have you buy and sell so, so give alms,
Pray so; and, for the ordering your affairs,
To sing them too: when you do dance, I wish you
A wave o' the sea, that you might ever do
Nothing but that; move still, still so,
And own no other function: each your doing,
So singular in each particular,
Crowns what you are doing in the present deed,
That all your acts are queens.
The Winter's Tale

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:45 PM



Thursday, April 03, 2003
      ( 5:49 PM ) The Rat  
RAMESH PONNURU ON LYNCH.

It's worth knowing, in deciding whether female soldiers should be treated the same as male ones, whether the enemy does so. It's terrific that Pfc. Lynch has made it home safe. But there are some troubling questions that have not yet been answered or even asked. Why was she kept alive, when the others were not? She has suffered three broken limbs. When did they break? If it was during combat, her conduct is all the more exemplary. If it was while she was in captivity, that too is worth knowing.

But it appears that people do not want to consider whether our captured women are being subjected to special tortures, or even being tortured at all. Here's how Kerry Sanders reported the tip-off about Lynch on CNBC: "The information about an American POW still being alive is information that had been flowing to the U.S. Marines on almost a daily basis. Even yesterday, somebody came up to me and said, 'You're a journalist, you need to know there's an American soldier who's being held in the hospital. She's being tortured. Please make sure that the people who are in charge of the U.S. military know that she's alive."

The New York Post online quoted Sanders, but left out the sentence about torture.

# Posted by The Rat @ 5:49 PM


      ( 1:29 PM ) The Rat  
"SHE WAS FIGHTING TO THE DEATH." Fantastic story—what woman could read this and NOT be awed by, and proud of, Lynch's courage? But I'm just waiting for the feminists to hijack it as further proof women should be allowed in combat against a regime known to use rape against its enemies.

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:29 PM


      ( 1:02 PM ) The Rat  
WRITE YOUR OWN CAPTION.

# Posted by The Rat @ 1:02 PM


      ( 12:57 PM ) The Rat  
"WHERE DO THEY GET YOUNG MEN LIKE THIS?" Great story, via Eve.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:57 PM


      ( 12:50 PM ) The Rat  
A COLOSSAL SQUID!

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:50 PM


      ( 12:45 PM ) The Rat  
PEARL JAM CONTROVERSY.

"I wasn't sure if it was really happening," said Kim Mueller. "We looked at each other and realized he really did have George Bush's head on a stick and was waving it in the air, then slammed it to the ground and stepped on it."

"It was like he decapitated someone in a primal ritual and stuck their head on a stick," Zimmerman said. "It kinda blows away the Dixie Chicks."

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:45 PM


      ( 12:39 PM ) The Rat  
SARS CHIC. And a relevant chart.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:39 PM


      ( 12:35 PM ) The Rat  
BEST PLACE TO PICK UP MRS. ROBINSON and other tips from the Voice.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:35 PM


      ( 12:34 PM ) The Rat  
IRAQIS KICK AL-JAZEERA OUT OF BAGHDAD.

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:34 PM


      ( 12:32 PM ) The Rat  
LIFE IMITATES MONTY PYTHON.

Watkins. Sir, a bloke was telling me, if you're in the army and there's a war you have to go and fight.
Colonel. That's true.
Watkins. Well I mean, blimey, I mean if it was a big war somebody could be hurt.
Colonel. Watkins why did you join the army?
Watkins. For the water-skiing and for the travel, sir. And not for the killing, sir. I asked them to put it on my form, sir—no killing.
"Army Protection Racket," Monty Python, 12/7/1969

Funk, who grew up in Washington state, enlisted when he was 19 and living on his own for the first time. He said he caved in to pressure from a recruiter who capitalized on his vulnerability. "They don't really advertise that they kill people," Funk said.
"Soldier Says He's Conscientious Objector," AP, 4/1/2003

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:32 PM


      ( 12:18 PM ) The Rat  
"YES, IT'S A LITTLE CREEPY TO BE STALKED BY MORMONS. BUT..."

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:18 PM


      ( 12:15 PM ) The Rat  
Youth is something very new: twenty years ago no one mentioned it.
—Coco Chanel

# Posted by The Rat @ 12:15 PM



Wednesday, April 02, 2003
      ( 4:04 PM ) The Rat  
THE ONION'S PROM-PLANNING TIPS.

# Posted by The Rat @ 4:04 PM


      ( 3:58 PM ) The Rat  
PHOTO of that British war cemetery in northern France that was vandalized yesterday.

# Posted by The Rat @ 3:58 PM


      ( 3:52 PM ) The Rat  
GREAT HEADLINE.

# Posted by The Rat @ 3:52 PM


      ( 3:41 PM ) The Rat  
YOU'LL NEVER LOOK AT YOUR DIORISSIMO THE SAME WAY AGAIN. Lily of the valley is irresistible to sperm, the Independent reports.

# Posted by The Rat @ 3:41 PM


      ( 3:36 PM ) The Rat  
SURPRISE, MOM: I'M ANTI-ABORTION. From Sunday's NYT (requires free registration).

This contrast between mother and teenage daughter illustrates a trend noted in polls: that teenagers and college-age Americans are more conservative about abortion rights than their counterparts were a generation ago. Many people old enough to have teenage children and who equate youth with liberal social opinions on topics like gay rights and the use of marijuana for medical purposes have been surprised at this discovery. Miss Dahl was one of numerous students in her class who chose to make speeches about abortion, and most took the anti-abortion side...

Some young people who oppose abortion, and who were born after the Roe v. Wade decision in 1973 declared that were is a constitutional right to abortion, have adopted a new rhetoric. One of them is Kelly Kroll, a junior at Boston College and president of American Collegians for Life, who says she is a "survivor of the abortion holocaust" because she was adopted. "Myself and my classmates have never known a world in which abortion wasn't legalized," she said. "We've realized that any one of us could have been aborted. When I talk about being a survivor of abortion, I am talking about it from a personal place."

# Posted by The Rat @ 3:36 PM


      ( 3:31 PM ) The Rat  
WHITE HOUSE TO END DRUGS & TERROR ADS. Did anybody think those ads were going to work?!

# Posted by The Rat @ 3:31 PM


      ( 3:29 PM ) The Rat  
PETA IN THE NEWS.

PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, translated the slogan "Dump Dairy" to get their message across to Spanish-speaking schoolchildren in the US.

But the literal translation "Eche la leche" can also mean "Discharge sperm" in slang...

# Posted by The Rat @ 3:29 PM


      ( 3:27 PM ) The Rat  
I was raised almost entirely on turnips and potatoes, but I think that the turnips had more to do with the effect than the potatoes.
—Marlene Dietrich

# Posted by The Rat @ 3:27 PM



Tuesday, April 01, 2003
      ( 3:03 PM ) The Rat  
"LIKE A MIDGET AT A URINAL, I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO KEEP ON MY TOES." Pages o' quotes from Police Squad! here and here. Also check out this "A to Z," and an episode guide.

"My name is Detective Sergeant Frank Drebin. A series of gorgeous fashion models had been found unconscious and naked in laundromats. Unfortunately, I was assigned to investigate credit union holdups. I was doing my laundry when the call came in on a shootout..."

Veronica. You took a big chance knocking down that guy.
Drebin. I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street, or sticking your face in a fan.

"I found him hanging out at one of those all-night wicker places."

"The doctors are giving him a 50/50 chance of making it... although there's only a 25 percent chance of that."

"We're sorry to bother you at a time like this, Mrs. Twice. We would have come earlier, but your husband wasn't dead then."

Frank. You're lucky you've got Edna, to wake up to the same woman every morning. All I do is run around with some cheap 20-year-old—the "I just want sex, sex, sex, more, more, more," girls that can't say no, "it's your turn to wear the handcuffs"...
Captain. [frothing at the mouth]

# Posted by The Rat @ 3:03 PM


      ( 11:25 AM ) The Rat  
THE RAT'S high-school civics teacher in the news! Sorta. Thanks to Eve for the link. Eventually, the Rat is going to lock herself in a room with a case of Sapphire and pen an anthropological study/memoir of Orange County.

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:25 AM


      ( 11:24 AM ) The Rat  
TOBACCO SHORTAGE MAKES MARINES IRRITABLE.

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:24 AM


      ( 11:18 AM ) The Rat  
THIS is very cool.

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:18 AM


      ( 11:15 AM ) The Rat  
"BEER TEA PARTY" IN SALT LAKE.

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:15 AM


      ( 11:14 AM ) The Rat  
SUCCOTASH ICE CREAM!

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:14 AM


      ( 11:09 AM ) The Rat  
SPEAKING OF WHICH, here is a short bio of Fleming which also mentions the story (from Benson's biography) of how "Pussy Galore" got—or rather kept—her name.

When Ian was first writing Goldfinger, his friend Al Hart told him that he couldn't use the name Pussy Galore. He said that the publishers just wouldn't allow it. In response, Fleming said "Oh yes I will, and not only that, we're going to get away with it!"

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:09 AM


      ( 11:07 AM ) The Rat  
MORE ON OPERATION JAMES.

Under cover from smoke shells fired by British gunners, troops from Delta Company of 40 Commando renewed the assault at first light, attacking two enemy positions, known by military planners using the operation's James Bond theme as Pussy and Galore.

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:07 AM


      ( 11:04 AM ) The Rat  
MISSOURI PAPER SETTLES LIBEL SUIT.

The Daily Tribune on March 20 printed an apology for the cartoon that the paper said was intended to spoof Lane's stance in favor of corporal punishment in schools.

According to the paper's description, the two-frame cartoon shows a caricature of Lane saying, "I'm Henry Lane and I'm running for the school board to bring back spanking," followed by a view depicting Lane wearing women's underwear and high heels, holding a whip, and saying, "Not that I'm necessarily into that stuff."

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:04 AM


      ( 11:04 AM ) The Rat  
"That's not going to be easy, Frank. This city is the tuba capital of the world!"
Police Squad

# Posted by The Rat @ 11:04 AM




A page I'm starting to get the overlords at EveTushnet.com to stop $#@! bugging me


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